Glorious Internet Quotes

I've been suspicious of Peach for a while. Always getting kidnapped and suddenly Bowser has seven kids and then Koopa Jr. It was like they had some arrangement.

Kidnap.
Impregnate
Kidnap.
Birth Koopaling

And repeat. I think this is a game for Peach and Koopa, like the ones Fred and Daphnw play with Shaggy, Scooby and Velma. They're out shacking up in a closet somewhere and getting a thrill out of the potential of getting caught. Then Bowser lets Mario "beat" him just like Fred knew the real secret behind the caper all along (cuz he's rich and hired some actors for these little capers) - he just filled the Mystery Machine with weed to induce the hallucinations and the munchies on Shaggy and Scooby.

Peach does the same thing to Mario. Gets him all distracted by leaving this trail coins and drugs to show him the way He's doing shrooms and weed, then he thinks he's eating stars, turning into raccoons and frogs an bees. By the time Peach and Bowser have done the deed, Mario is at the castle door, sobered up and ready to fight.

I think Peach likes Bowser more, she just sends Mario more hallucinogenic mushrooms via the mail to distract him. She just knows the toads are racist and would never accept her relationship with Koopa, so we must endure her convoluted little games where she goes off to hook up and leaves Mario with tons of drugs.